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They’re People Just Like You and Me!

In Misc. on April 20, 2010 at 1:56 pm

When not trying his damndest to make sure 30 million Americans don’t get health insurance, Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell still has time to shop at the neighborhood market! On my way to pick up some bread for Becky’s delicious fig tapenade and smoked eggplant soup, I was lucky enough to see one of Washington’s 15 most corrupt politicians (well, that’s only according to Citizens for Responsibilty and Ethics in Washington) in person! After being alerted, due to the presence of an imposing bodyguard standing at the door, that someone of importance was probably in my local convenience store, I walked in to see a gentleman whose turkey face I will forever recognize.

Even without make-up this Ronald McConnell is still a clown

There he was: the man, the legend, good ol’ Mickey C, mumbling at the cash register about whether or not the bag would hold all of its contents (basing this purely on speculation and no fact whatsoever, I think he was jumping on the healthcare bandwagon and buying boxes of band-aids to dole out to DC’s less privileged. That or he was going to throw them in the fire and laugh while drinking his evening Cognac).

Being the mature twenty-something who has lived in DC long enough to not be wowed by brushes with notoriety, I calmly acted as if I was buying candy while blatantly staring at the Kentucky mountain man until I decided spying from behind the peanut kiosk was my best vantage point. From my view, I was able to see him decide that “this bag will do” and scurry out with his wife into the safety of his bodyguard, who I’m  certain could and would kill me 20 different ways if he found out I’m writing about him this way. Thank god I only use my initial.

Becky’s screwed, though.


  1. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. We’ve had you pegged since you first moved to D.C. Good luck trying to leave the country, that “no fly” list can be a bitch.

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